Because you're mine
by i-visualize
Summary: After the Khan incident and Jim's near death (okay, technically Jim died), Jim and Spock are very close. What everyone wants to know is... how close? Are they simply friends? Or are they something more? Exasperated best friends, jealous girlfriends, matchmaking Vulcans, bitchy old ladies, deadly missions, etc, etc, etc... will not let these two men escape their true feelings now.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Firstly the important thing -**

**Disclaimer - I do not own these characters. Nor am I making any profit over them.**

**Now... To new beginnings... **cheers****

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><p>James T. Kirk, captain of the Enterprise and known to his friends as Jim, fell to his knees gasping for air. But even the lack of air and sheer exhaustion and pain could not wipe out the smile from his face; showing that he was wrecked but not defeated… never defeated.<p>

He had done it; saved his crew, his family. The Enterprise had been falling to Earth but somehow he had managed to restore power to the warp drive at the last possible minute. Exposing himself to radiation in order to save the ship was a small price to pay.

'_A very small price…'_

He felt more than heard Spock arrive and focused his eyes upon him. Spock crouched and then their eyes were on level with one another. "Spock," Jim whispered.

They were parted by a glass door but it felt as if they were closer than ever. "How's our ship?" he managed to gasp out.

"Out of danger," came Spock's reply, precise and exactly what Jim wanted to hear. He smiled at his perfect Vulcan, "Good…"

Jim gasped once again, trying to force air inside his unwilling lungs and saw Spock's eyes fill with anguish.

"You saved the crew," Spock said after a moment.

'_Yes, my crew is alive… __**you**__ are alive,' _Jim thought. But out loud he said, "You used what he wanted against him. That's a nice move."

"It is what you would have done," Spock replied, his voice hoarser than usual.

Jim grinned weakly, "And this... this is what you would have done. It was only logical."

His grin vanished as he felt his heart struggling to keep on beating. And it was then he acknowledged to himself that he really was dying. Not even Bones would be able to pull out a miracle from thin air and save him this time. It was terror gripped him then.

"I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be. How do you choose not to feel?" he asked. Like a child seeking for comfort.

Spock made a small, strangled sound and replied, "I do not know. Right now, I am failing." And with that he reached out with his hands and laid it on the glass, his fingers arranged in the Vulcan salute.

Jim blinked as he noticed his own lying directly opposite it. They would have been touching if not for the glass and suddenly he wanted the glass to disappear. '_Just once_.' But even he, the one who did not believe in no-win-scenarios, knew the wish to be futile. He knew that he only had a few more seconds left. He could feel his heart beating in a desperate, unsynchronized rhythm; nearly giving out.

'_A few more seconds… hold on…'_

There was one last thing he had to tell Spock before… before he died, "I want you to know why I couldn't let you die... why I went back for you…," Jim gasped unable to breathe, unable to complete what he was saying.

"Because you are my friend," Spock completed it for him.

'_Yes, my friend, my brother, mine… SPOCK…' _

Jim felt the last breath leave his body.

**xXxXxXxXx**

Spock looked down at the pleasure flushed face of Nyota as he slowly entered her. The sensation of being inside her was adequately pleasurable, he thought while lying perfectly still over her and letting her adjust to his size.

Soon enough, both of them wanted more. It was rather obvious by the way Nyota was clutching his shoulders and telling him to move. Or rather, ordering him to do so.

"Move Spock… now, now!" Nyota gasped out.

For approximately 3.253 seconds Spock let his mind dwell on why the lack of submissiveness on her part did not trouble him. Vulcan males by nature were mostly dominant and so they needed submission from their bond mates. He believed it to be an evolutionary trait as during Pon farr the Vulcan males lost every semblance of their logic and control. They became, to use a terran word, feral. Anything other than complete submission from their bond mates would increase the chances of them being severely injured or even dead by 75.128 percent.

Accordingly, the ease with which he could control his dominant nature with Nyota was… troubling. It would become a problem if Nyota wished to bond with him.

"Spock…," Nyota hissed and Spock started moving. He thrust inside her tight, heated channel… building his pace… harder… faster… the pleasure building with his every stroke…

Nyota screamed his name as she orgasmed and soon Spock followed her.

Breathing a bit erratically, Spock rolled away from Nyota to the other side of the bed. Turning towards her, he found her smiling at him.

"That was amazing Spock," saying so Nyota moved closer and wrapped her arms around him. When Spock stiffened at the contact, Nyota moved away after laying a chaste kiss upon his lips.

This was one the things which made having a relationship with Nyota so easy. She understood that being a Vulcan he did not enjoy casual touches and thus she refrained from doing so. She also respected his cultural boundaries and rarely initiated contact when in public. He, therefore, held a high regard for her.

"I believe both of us have been sufficiently satisfied," Spock replied. It was the truth after all. He was satisfied with Nyota. She was logical, beautiful, intelligent, had a calm demeanour and respected his cultural boundaries. There was no logical reason why he should not be satisfied with their relationship.

None at all.

No matter what his older self tried to so subtly insist.

"Spock what are you thinking about?" Nyota captured his attention once again.

He was about to answer when he heard it. It was too faint to be heard by human ears but his sensitive Vulcan ears caught the sound easily… "SPOCK".

Spock recognized the voice calling his name. He would recognize the voice anywhere. It belonged to one of the very few people he cherished. Perhaps even the most…

'_Jim.'_

**xxx**

Spock was out of the bed in the blink of an eye which left Nyota sputtering. "Spock… what? What is the matter?" she asked, watching him don his meditation robe hastily. His face was completely blank of any expression but his eyes were blazing.

Alarmed, she jumped out of the bed and put on another of Spock's robes. She was still fumbling with the sleeves when she watched Spock open the door to his bathroom and enter it. Finally, putting the robe on successfully she ran to catch up with Spock.

She found that Spock had already opened the door which led to the Captain's chambers through their connecting bathroom.

'_Of course_,' Uhura thought bitterly, _'I should have guessed.'_

_**xxx**_

As soon as the door opened, Spock sought out the Captain. But the first thing his eyes landed upon was Dr. Carol Marcus. She was unclothed, covered only by a bed sheet and leaning over the Captain anxiously.

Spock felt something bitter swell within him at the sight of the blonde woman but he did not pause to examine what it was.

"Dr. Marcus," Spock snapped which made her squeak and turn towards him. She immediately pulled up the sheet higher and burst out nervously, "Oh, Commander! Jim… umm… he's not well, I think. I was about to comm Dr. McCoy and…"

Spock walked towards the bed and got his first look at Jim.

Jim was trembling in his sleep caught in a nightmare. And Spock did not have to infer which. It was most certainly the same one which had been repeatedly plaguing Jim after the Khan incident. The nightmare in which he was surrounded by death and destruction.

Jim's face was wet with tears and he was gasping for air.

Spock felt something tight squeezing his heart and he visibly clenched his teeth. He had failed to save Jim that one time but he would not fail him again. He would allow nothing and no one to hurt him; and certainly not some nightmares.

Spock took a seat beside Jim on the bed and laid the flat of his hand on his forehead. He ran his thumb across Jim's forehead gently, right over his brows.

"Jim," Spock called out in a soft voice, "wake up." It came out as half a plea and half an order.

The nightmare slowly loosened its clutch upon Jim and Spock kept up his ministrations all throughout it. "Jim," Spock called out once more and Jim finally opened his eyes.

As Jim blinked the sleep, fear, pain and panic from his eyes, Spock took in the tears clinging on Jim's eyelashes. He took in those stunning blue eyes which looked like twin oceans right now… and his breath hitched.

'_Most illogical.'_

**xxx**

'_Holy crap, it was just a stupid dream,'_ taking deep breaths Jim tried reassuring himself that he was alive and Spock was actually there with him. "Spock," Jim whispered and saw a small smile lifting Spock's lips.

Spock's fingers were gliding through his hair gently and he sighed in pleasure.

Finally he woke up enough to notice the two scantily clad women standing beside his bed and staring at him and Spock. But apparently the similarities ended there. Carol had a bed sheet wrapped around her, _his bed sheet, _and her expression was a mixture of hurt and concern. While Uhura wore Spock's robes and was openly glaring.

Being the genius that he was, he easily put two and two together and came to realize what must have happened…

Uhura and Carol had witnessed his weakness. They had witnessed his breakdown.

'_Damn it,'_ he thought vehemently, '_should have never taken up Carol's offer tonight.'_

His face burnt hot with humiliation and he childishly buried his face against Spock's thighs.

**xxx**

Spock almost growled at the two women who had put that particular look on Jim's face. But he restrained… barely. Instead he gave them a cold look and told them to depart.

"But I think I should stay with Jim, Commander…" Dr. Marcus trailed off, intimidated into silence by his cold glare.

"Yes, that's a good idea," Uhura pitched in, ignoring Spock. "You are his girlfriend… of course you should stay. I and Spock will just be leaving. Right, Spock?"

"Wrong Nyota," Spock replied in a dangerously even voice and saw Nyota's expression change into one of wariness. "I will be staying here with Jim while you will accompany Dr. Marcus to my room wherein both of you will don your respective attires and then proceed to your respective quarters."

When the women simply stood gaping at him he added, "I think the instructions were clearly not comprehendible to you both. Hence I will repeat myself…"

**xxx**

'_Oh God, did he just insult both our girlfriends? At the same time?' _

"Spock…," Jim swatted his thighs and then sat up, looking torn between mirth and horror. The sheet covering him pooled around his hips revealing his naked torso to all individuals present in the room.

This made Spock raise his brow disapprovingly to which Jim rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Aww… come on Spock. It's nothing the ladies have not seen before," Jim winked at Uhura and Carol, trying to lower the tension in the room. But at the same time he did pull up the sheet higher, covering his torso with it.

Spock simply got up and fetched a t-shirt for him.

Jim sighed exaggeratedly before accepting it from Spock and putting it on. He then turned his attention back towards the women.

Carol gave him a tentative smile while Uhura's poisonous glare made him wince.

"Umm…," darting a glance at Spock, Carol asked him nervously, "shall I stay then?"

Before Spock could intervene with a scathing remark, Jim replied, "Nah… your and Uhura's sleep has been disturbed enough for tonight. Both of you go and get some rest. Okay?"

Carol nodded reluctantly and then collected her clothes before leaving via the bathroom door connecting his and Spock's quarters. Uhura followed… quietly seething.

"You were too rude Spock," Jim murmured. "And Uhura is going to give you some serious shit over this tomorrow."

Spock threw him an unimpressive look, saying, "It was perfectly logical to deduce that for some reason they were both unable to comprehend my orders as they stood gaping at me instead of following them."

That brought out a chuckle out of Jim and he regarded Spock with a fond and impish smile. Spock's eyes turned into twin pools of molten chocolate.

"Temper, temper…," Jim teased. "We have to do something about that temper of yours. You are seriously infected with one of those seven deadly sins Mr. Vulcan having absolutely no feelings at all. Guess what, it's called… 'wrath'. "

Jim laughed as Spock's eyebrows twitched in a way which totally meant that he had once again riled him successfully. He mentally patted himself in the back.

"Aww… don't pout Spock. Look at me… I am super awesome and amazing but still have one of my own. You know which?" he asked grinning.

**xxx**

Spock smiled (the Vulcan way, of course) upon seeing Jim return to their usual playful banter. Jim was most probably unaware of the fact that all throughout it he had been leaning against Spock's side.

To answer Jim's earlier question, Spock replied drily, "I believe the answer to be 'vanity'. It would be well justified as you seemingly possess a copious amount of it."

Jim gave him a mock glare which disappeared as Spock adjusted their poses and pulled him in his arms securely.

Jim buried his nose in the junction of Spock's throat and neck and sighed with pleasure. He went boneless in Spock's arms as his fatigue and residual panic from the nightmare faded away in the warmth and security of Spock's embrace.

Jim murmured a quiet 'thank you'; hearing which Spock bestowed Jim with a look filled with fond exasperation, "Jim, as I have already stated 43 times in the past, your gratitude is appreciated but unnecessary. To care for you is…"

"If you say logical," Jim interrupted him, "I'll sic Winona on you."

Spock growled like always when that woman's name came up. Jim had recently begun telling him all about his appalling childhood. It was a slow, ongoing process as reviving those memories were downright painful for Jim, especially the memories of Tarsus IV. But with his unconditional support and Dr. McCoy's gentle guidance, Jim was able to talk about his past more and more easily every other day.

It was going to prove to be advantageous as Winona Kirk, Jim's biological mother, had grown more bitter and angry with her advancing age; and she had made it her life's mission to hound Jim wherever he went. Therefore Spock was very sure that she would be present in the Starfleet's Annual Celebrations which would be held in two months time.

"I'll most certainly look forward to it. Now, go to sleep. I'll stay with you till then."

Jim sighed and closed his eyes. There was blissful silence for a minute and a half before Jim interrupted it with, "Spock?"

"Yes, Jim."

"Is the Vulcan tendency to boss other people natural? Or do you all stand in front of the mirrors for hours and hours and practice how to appear all stuffy and intimidating?"

Spock sighed but answered dutifully, "Most Vulcan males are by nature dominant. Though there are submissive Vulcan males present, they are very few."

"Oh."

There was another bout of silence. But knowing Jim as well as he did, Spock could see that Jim appeared restless.

"Jim, what is the matter?" he asked softly.

Jim sighed wearily and told him 'nothing'. Seeing his disbelieving look though Jim smiled and added, "I am a bit… anxious to go back to sleep. I hate the fucking nightmares. Perhaps I should take a mild sedative."

"I disagree," Spock proclaimed. "You are getting addicted to those."

Jim snarled at him then, moving out of the circle of his arms. "Well, fuck off Spock. Don't tell me what to do. I'll take as many sedatives as I like. And if you do not like it either give me a better alternative or shut the hell up. I have a ship to run and I will not risk my crew because I can't sleep as I am afraid of some damn nightmares."

Spock kept his face impassive and his body still when his hands were itching to shake some sense into Jim. But it would be illogical and serve no purpose.

In its place, he let Jim see his implacable resolve of not letting him have a sedative. Jim would not be taking any more of those drugs.

Jim sighed tiredly. He did not have the energy to fight with Spock right then. So he sequestered himself back in Spock's arms and said, "Fine, let's compromise. Do the Vulcan nerve pinch thing."

Spock relaxed as his anger quickly transformed into amusement, "The Vulcan nerve pinch is more detrimental than sedatives if used on a regular basis. I believe I have a better solution."

Jim gasped and looked at him with eyes huge with excitement, "Really? What is it? Come on Spock, don't make me have to kill you…"

"Killing me would not serve the purpose of…"

"Spock!" Jim hit him with a pillow.

"You might think of it to be slightly invasive. But if you allow me to perform a meld with you then I believe my presence in your mind would successfully keep the nightmares away."

Jim stared at him for a moment before saying a resounding yes. "Lord, you're brilliant."

Spock gave him a small smile.

"Of course, being the genius that I am, I recognized your brilliance instantly and bagged you as my First Officer."

"Jim…"

"What?"

"I have reconsidered and decided to proceed with the nerve pinch."

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><p><strong>Hope you all liked it. Please review... I would love to hear what you all think... :)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Here we go again. Enjoy...:)**

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><p>The next morning found the crew of the Enterprise amidst a flurry of activity. The Enterprise was on the course to the planet Zodura II on maximum warp at Starfleet's orders. Apparently, it was a high priority.<p>

"Kepten and Komander on ze bridge," Chekov announced with a huge smile as the doors of the turbolift opened admitting Jim and Spock.

Jim greeted everyone with a smile and a wink. Spock gave a cool nod.

"Alright everyone, your attention please. As you all know that we are headed for the planet Zodura as per Starfleet's orders. I want all my department heads and senior officers in the briefing room in five minutes where further instructions will be given. Uhura… you know what to do."

Uhura pursed her lips and gave him a rude glare before turning towards her station.

Jim bristled at the insult and had to clench his teeth shut in order to keep himself from reprimanding her on the bridge.

Spock however, who had also seen Uhura's look, had no such qualms. He asked in a perfectly even tone, "Lt. Uhura, do you have anything to say against the Captain's orders? Pease enlighten the rest of us."

The whole bridge quietened as everyone on the bridge became engrossed with whatever they were doing. In fact, Jim would bet upon his last credit that some of them were even trying not to breathe.

Jim was most definitely impressed and wondered how Spock managed to accomplish that level of intimidation with a single sentence.

He himself probably looked as threatening as a cute and cuddly teddy bear next to Spock. And that particular thought made him scowl.

And he was rather horrified by his next thought, _'Holy shit, Bones has got a much more intimidating scowl than me…'_

Meanwhile, Uhura stiffened and slowly turned to face Spock.

"No, Commander," she answered quietly.

"Are you certain? Your actions do not quite match with your words, Lieutenant," Spock said raising his brows.

Uhura bit her lips before answering contritely, "Quite sure, Commander." Saying so, she turned towards Jim, "I apologize if it seemed otherwise, Captain."

Jim nodded, letting her off the hook. "No harm done, Lieutenant. But," Jim added before she could turn back towards her station, "see that this does not happen again."

Jim gestured Spock towards the briefing room and they left together. And sure enough, on their heels came several sighs of relief.

**xxx**

"Zodura II is a recently discovered planet, with an arid climate and very few sentient life forms. The plant life too is scarce and scattered. The only remotely habitable areas are near the water bodies which are fed by deep aquifers," Spock informed all the officers in the briefing room.

"Remotely habitable?" Bones interrupted him. "Why the hell is this thing of a high priority then?"

Spock glared at Bones at the interruption while Bones scowled back.

Jim had to hastily cover his smile before either of the two men could see him. Clearing his throat, he ordered them in his best 'Captain' voice, "Now, now, children… please stop pulling each other's hair."

"Children…," Bones sputtered, transferring the glare to Jim while Jim simply smirked at him.

Spock gave a small sigh and continued, "Before Dr. McCoy interrupted me, I was about to elucidate that Starfleet's interest in the planet does not lie in the planet's habitability. The reason why Zodura II has been classified as a most important planet is the enormous quantity of Dilithium crystals which the planet apparently contains."

"Aye… I distinctly remember reading about it somewhere," Scotty burst in. "Starfleet made a team of scientists and sent it to the planet. It was led by… umm…"

"By the geologist Dr. Laverezer."

Spock completed for Scotty before continuing, "The reports forwarded by the scientists are exemplary. The planet is habitable enough for a mining centre to be set up. The local life forms are of no threat and the Dilithium reserves are plentiful and easily accessible. But recently, the team of scientists sent to the planet lost contact with Starfleet owing to an ion storm which jammed their communicators and electronic devices. However, after the storm passed, they were still out of contact. As of now, 48.256 hours have passed and no contact could have been established with them. Hence, they have officially been labelled as missing now."

Spock paused to look at Jim, "Captain, perhaps you would like to continue from here…"

Jim smiled at Spock before turning towards the rest of his senior officers.

"Okay, so these scientists might be perfectly all right, the problem being some faulty communicating devices. But then again, they might not be. And that's where we come in. We are to beam down to the planet, find out what's wrong, find out the scientists and beam them out if the situation demands. In a nutshell… we'll be treating this as a rescue operation. Do you agree, Spock?"

"Affirmative," Spock replied. "We shall have to implement speed and stealth and be prepared for unidentified hazards. I recommend the size of the landing party to be small."

Jim nodded thoughtfully and then proceeded to give his orders, "The landing party will consist of me, Commander Spock, Dr. McCoy and Lt. Hendorff and his team of security officers. Another security team should stand ready to beam down if needed. I also want a medical team ready, awaiting our return. The science team is to scan the planet and analyze every data that Spock sends… Dr. Marcus you're in charge of that. Lt. Uhura, you and your team will try to establish communication with those scientists, and Scotty… keep an eye out for ion storms. Are the orders clear?"

A chorus of 'Yes, Captain' rang out.

"Great then, you're all dismissed," Jim said grinning, excited at the thought of some upcoming action. He missed Spock and Bones sharing a wary look at his expense.

**xxx**

"Spock, may I talk to you for a second?" Uhura asked nervously.

Spock looked up at her and somehow knew that whatever she was going to say was important.

"Affirmative," he replied. He had been giving some last minute instructions to his science team before he beamed down to the planet.

"That will be all, officers. Dismissed."

Spock saw Dr. Marcus share a look with Nyota before returning to her work station. "Nyota, I have to be in the transporter room within 30.23 minutes."

"I know, I just wanted to tell you to be safe. And…," Nyota stopped abruptly and took a deep breath before continuing, "I am so sorry, Spock. I am so sorry."

Spock stared at her for a moment before asking, "May know the reason why?"

Uhura smiled derisively. "The reason why I am sorry or why I acted like a bitch in the first place?"

"Both, if you please," Spock replied in a quiet voice.

Uhura looked up at him and began, "That day when Jim nearly died, do you remember how scared you were thinking you were going to lose him?"

Spock's mind immediately flashed back to that day…

**X**

"_Why is not working? Why, Doctor? You said it would. You said Khan's blood would revive him. Do something."_

"_What do you think I am doing, you bloody hobgoblin? Now get out of here before I have to sedate you… Fuck his heart is stopping again. Damn it! Christine… the anti-haemorrhage hypo, now."_

"_Do not die. You promised to trounce me in chess. Keep your promise… Just keep breathing."  
><em>

"_His heart has stabilized for now, Spock. Don't worry, he is James T. Kirk. He is going to be all right. He knows I'll kill him if he dies. Now go outside and wait, okay?"_

**X**

Spock drew in a sharp breath. "Vulcans do not experience fear, Nyota," he told her harshly.

"Yes, and they do not lie either Spock. I sat with you outside while Leonard worked tirelessly to save Jim. I was so blind, so oblivious till that day. And even then I stuck my head in the sand like some ostrich rather than face the reality. And… and I became so jealous, so bitter, so scared thinking I was going to lose you," Uhura paused, her face wet with tears.

"So many times, I felt like giving you an ultimatum to make a choice between me and him."

"So, why did you not?"

"Because… because I already knew who you would choose," Uhura replied quietly. "I could never compete with him. I couldn't compete when you thought he was dead. How can I ever compete now?"

"Nyota, I do not understand. Jim is my friend…," Spock started but she interrupted him harshly.

"Stop, Spock. You're my boyfriend now but first and foremost you were my friend. I don't want to lose your friendship. I don't want to lose Jim's friendship. And so I am finally ready to end our… relationship."

Spock's eyes closed of their own accord listening to Nyota dissolving their relationship. Dissolving all their carefully laid out plans. Dissolving their future together and all that was practical and predictable.

And the only thing could feel was (yes, he could feel)… relief.

He opened his eyes when Nyota laid her hand over his chest. He stood completely still as she rose upon her toes and laid a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I am no longer afraid to lose you Spock. It's because I have finally realized… I never had you in the first place."

**xxx**

"Oww… damn it Bones! What the fuck?" Jim hissed as Bones attacked him with a hypospray. They were in the transporter room, about to be beamed down.

Bones gave him an unimpressed look and grumbled, "A newly discovered planet… lord knows how many stupid things you will be allergic to out there."

Jim was about to give a scathing reply when Spock joined them. He looked oddly contemplative but his stance screamed ready for battle and Jim could not help but think that the Vulcan looked ridiculously hot.

Jim blinked. _'Shit, did I just think Spock and hot in the same context? Well he is hot, of course. With a body like that… Damn it, get your head out of the gutter Jim! He's your best friend…'_

"Aaargh…," Jim screamed as Bones once again hypoed him. "Holy shit Bones! Get those things away from me, you sadist."

The crew members around Jim suppressed their smiles including Spock.

"Oh that?" Bones smirked. "It was the tri-ox compound. We're going to a fucking desert if you have forgotten… with a very low amount of oxygen."

"The Doctor is right Captain," Spock interrupted. "The lack of oxygen would have hindered you."

Jim rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine. But can you both relax a bit? It's going to be a pretty straightforward mission. We get in, find out what happened to the scientists and then we get out."

Bones snorted.

"Oh come on Bones. I mean, what can possibly go wrong in a fucking desert with almost no sentient beings or dangerous life forms?"

And once again, Jim missed his two senior most officers (and best friends, of course) look at each other sporting matching looks of trepidation.

**xxx**

Almost three hours later on the surface of the planet Zodura II, Jim found himself slung over his First Officer's shoulders like a sack of potatoes as they ran for their lives.

Well, technically it was Spock and Bones who were doing the running thing while he was just... hanging.

And to top it off, there was also an ion storm coming.

_'Lord help us all...'_

… _**to be continued.**_

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><p><strong>Hope you all liked it. Do leave your reviews... they make my day!:)<strong>


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